


Losing Control

by Attalander



Series: Minds Entwined (Sasha/Milla) [1]
Category: Psychonauts (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bad Sex, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, Mile High Club, Mother Complex, Psychic Abilities, Psychic Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:41:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25340050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attalander/pseuds/Attalander
Summary: Agent Sasha Nein is a man who’s in control of his life, his mind, his emotions... except for that one thing. Alright, so he has more sexual issues thanPenthouse, but that hadn’t been a problem until he started dating Milla.Luckily, Milla is there to help.
Relationships: Sasha Nein/Milla Vodello
Series: Minds Entwined (Sasha/Milla) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878265
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	1. False Start

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning:** this contains Sasha’s canonical mother issues. He’s more disturbed than turned on by it, and the discussion is brief, but he still does have a complex about sex and his mom.
> 
> Also, I’ve been shipping this two since the game first came out on Steam and I got to play it in 2012. Now the sequel’s coming out, my hype has, of course, turned into porn.

How had this happened? Agent Sasha Nein wasn’t just embarrassed or ashamed, he was downright _mortified_.

The evening had been going so _well_ up until now. He’d been planning this night for weeks, every detail... A nice date, at a place that was the perfect mix of their tastes. There was music and dancing for Milla, but the low, smooth jazz was more Sasha’s speed than his partner’s usual upbeat party music. There had been good food and better wine, friendly and familiar banter... but with an overtly flirty edge that sent tingles down his spine.

They were _dating_ , really dating, after years of dancing round each other, and now... now they were leaving the club, arm in arm. They were getting into a cab, and he could smell her perfume as they kissed in the backseat on the way to Sasha’s apartment.

Every inch of every room was clean, far from Sasha’s usual habit... but tonight was special. Tonight was a war of anxiety and anticipation, and he’d waited over thirty years but he was _ready_ now, so ready his heart thundered in his ears as Milla kissed him, pulled him close, guided his hands to the zipper of her dress.

His fingers, so steady and sure when defusing a bomb or building complex circuitry, trembled as they touched his partner’s skin. It was soft, so soft... just like her own touches against his face, his chest, his mind. Their psyches tangled together, bright colors brushing up against sharp whites and blacks, blurring together a little at the edges. He could feel her desire almost as strongly as his own.

He didn’t remember when he’d lost his clothes, too wrapped up in dark skin and dancing eyes. She guided him through foreplay, until she was nice and wet. He reached for the condoms he’d laid out, ready, so ready, and she opened up to welcome him in, the expression of joy and desire so familiar...

It wasn’t Milla.

Just a flash in his mind, a moment of dissonance. The skin was paler, the eyes darker, with shorter hair and features he half-saw when he looked in a mirror.

“ _No!_ ” Sasha yelled, flinging himself back off the bed. His mind lashed out, for the first time in years free of his conscious control. It shattered the plain, brown lamp on the bedside table and exploded the window outward.

He collapsed against the wall, naked on the cold floor as he shook and clutched his knees. It was... he couldn’t... not _now!_

Wait, what about Milla?

Sasha’s head whipped up, staring at the blurry room... when had he lost his glasses?

He could see just enough to make out the orange glow of a Shield power, and a tiny trickle of tension left his body. Always competent, Milla had protected herself from the flying shards of glass and ceramic... protected herself from _him_. Sasha looked down again, clutching himself closer. He didn’t want to watch her walk away.

“Wow... You made quite a mess, darling,” Milla said, her voice clearly shaken but with that familiar playful edge. “I’ve heard of explosive sex before, but this takes the cake!”

“Sorry,” Sasha said. “ _Scheiße,_ I’m so, so sorry...”

He could see the shards out of the corner of his eye, telekinetically gathered and dumped into the trash can. Milla walked closer, nearly silent on bare feet, then knelt to place a blanket around his shoulders. She was wrapped up in the comforter, proof against the autumn chill coming through the broken window.

“Who was she?” Milla asked, sitting down beside Sasha. Of course, she had been touching his mind at the time, she must have seen it too... yet her eyes were empty of judgement and full of concern.

“She...” Sasha closed his eyes, breathing hard. “She was my mother.”

Milla gasped, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Not like that!” Sasha hastened to add. “She died... before I could even walk. My father grieved too much to really talk about her, so when my powers manifested I searched his memories, and saw...”

He’d been pubescent, just starting to feel desire without really understanding it... she had been the first naked woman Sasha saw, and through his father’s eyes. The eyes of a man in love, in the process of _making_ love. Ever since, his mother and his sexuality had been inextricably linked.

Did it count as an Oedipus Complex if he found it profoundly disturbing instead of arousing? There was a reason Sasha had his mind under such strict control... most of the time. Now, though, that control had shattered like his lamp, leaving the world dark and wild and frightening.

Sasha leaned his head back hard enough that it smacked against the wall, the pain bringing him more into focus. He wished he had his glasses... a shield against the world as much as a way to observe it. He wanted a cigarette, but he didn’t trust himself to use pyrokinesis, and there were no matches or lighters in the apartment.

“Sasha...” Milla’s voice was soft, gentle and sympathetic. She found his hand under the blanket and squeezed. “That’s... that’s a lot. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you deserve...” Sasha said, squeezing her hand in return. The world seemed a little more settled now, just a tiny bit. She was such a kind, caring person, motherly- _damn_ , he had issues.

“Trust me,” Milla said with a quirk of her lips. “It’s not the worst sex I’ve ever had.”

“Really?” Sasha couldn’t suppress a tiny smile. “Did this even count as sex?”

Milla shrugged. “If you want it to?”

“No,” Sasha said, shaking his head. “This was too...” Destructive? Miserable? Pathetic? He’d rather give Milla his virginity in a way that didn’t involve a panic attack before they even got to the good part.

“Mmmm,” Milla hummed, and he could feel a trickle of agreement seeping into his mind. Sasha winced. How much had he been projecting? His mental shields were in tatters, layers and layers of carefully constructed armor stripped away in a second.

“I’m sorry,” Sasha said again.

“Don’t worry, darling,” Milla said. “We can try again later.”

“You want to?” Sasha said, surprised. He’d half expected her to walk out long before now.

“We all have damage,” Milla said, and Sasha’s heart twisted. The orphanage, the fire... he’d read about them in her file when they first became partners, even caught a nightmare slipping though her shields when she was knocked out in an early mission. She hadn’t been as cheerful back then, before she’d really come into her power and embraced this new way of helping people, a new purpose in life. “I won’t stop loving you because of that.”

“Thank you,” Sasha whispered. “Can... can you stay? Just to sleep.”

“Of course, darling,” Milla said. Her eyes were soft, green like a peaceful meadow. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

He leaned in to kiss her, lips trembling as they brushed hers. The feeling of her warmth was grounding, soothing, everything he needed in that moment.

For now, it was enough.


	2. Mile High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the follow up! Sasha’s learned to better compartmentalize at this point, so his issues aren’t in the way of the sexy times... basically, pure porn.
> 
> Also, telekinesis makes writing sex SO MUCH EASIER.

Another mission, another daring escape. They had the briefcase full of secret plans, but of course the alarms had been tripped and the guards were closing in.

Milla levitated with speed and precision, dodging buildings and gunfire as they raced towards the security fence. Sasha’s arm was around her waist, letting her steer while he PSI Blasted obstacles and mercenary soldiers, clearing their path. After so many years together, the two were a well-oiled machine.

“Having a blast there, darling?” Milla asked as he knocked out six enemies with a single ricocheting shot of psychic force.

“Always,” Sasha said, holding on with all his strength and trusting her to get them where they needed to go.For all their differences, her free spirit was a perfect match for his deep-seated repression, at least when it came to psychic combat.

Milla twirled them around a tank, putting Sasha in a perfect position to blow the turret to smithereens. The security fence was in view now, and with their escape vehicle concealed only a few yards beyond.

Milla pushed a button, dropping the jet’s camouflage and opening the hatch, then bounced them into the air. They soared upwards, clearing the fence with a good deal to spare, then tumbling into the open cockpit. Milla landed on top of Sasha, soft breasts and heaving chest pressed against his own, separated by a few layers of cloth.

“Up up and away, darling!” Milla cried, telekinetically manipulating the controls for liftoff, sending them hurtling into the sky.

She could’ve done it by hand, could’ve gotten off of him... but instead she lay there, panting with exertion and adrenaline as she activated the autopilot with another focused thought.

Milla’s hair was in disarray, her face shining with sweat. There was a tear in the sleeve of her dress from a grazing gunshot, which had barely avoided breaking the skin.

She had never looked more beautiful.

Sasha pulled her in for a kiss, gloved fingers tangling in her hair. She kissed back, hungry and passionate, adrenaline driving emotions higher and higher. She opened her mind, sending out a thin, questing thought, a trickle of feeling.

_Want._

She _wanted_ him, and Sasha more than returned the sentiment. His heart was louder than the roaring engines of the jet, pounding in his ears and making him feel like his chest was going to burst. Control, he needed control...

Or did he? He’d been working over the past few months with Milla and an Agency therapist, building his internal barriers and talking out his issues. He hasn’t gotten over things, not by a long shot, but he definitely felt better... perhaps better enough.

And Milla had been so understanding... she’d asked this “question” a few times before, a mental hint of desire that he could accept or not, easier than words in its own way... he didn’t have to say no, just let the attempted connection drop.

He had done so every time before, keeping their kisses tame and their touches chaste. She had never pushed, never asked for more than he was willing to give.

But now? The rush of a completed mission, the thrill of seeing Milla in her element... and it _was_ her element. Getting frisky a mile in the air, in the middle of the day, with no buildup or preparation save a rush of adrenaline... it was exactly the kind of thing Milla would embrace. Perhaps she was right, and he needed to be a little more flexible. Spontaneous.

Sasha reached out with his thoughts, brushing against Milla’s in silent invitation. The contact bloomed, opening like a flower in his mind. He could feel Milla’s emotions, hot desire and warm affection.He pushed his own thoughts back at her, even as he pushed his tongue into her mouth. She tasted like coffee and dark chocolate, rich and addictive.

“Are you sure, darling?” Milla pulled back long enough to ask. “You’re comfortable-“

 _“Yes,”_ Sasha said, desperately hoping it was true. He felt fine... but then he’d felt alright the last time until disaster hit.

“Positive? I mean,” Milla’s eyes twinkled with good-natured amusement, “you _are_ lying on the floor.”

“Oh,” Sasha said, flushing pink. “Good point.”

They floated over to one of the benches on the side of the craft, settling into the plush seat. Milla straddled him, her hair hanging down loose around his face. He pulled her down into another kiss, then moved to kiss her neck, breathing in her scent. The soft fragrance of her perfume, mixed together with the sharp smell of sweat and the earthy, natural scent of her skin. As cliché as it sounded, her smell always grounded him... as well as aroused him.

Milla leaned back to kneel over Sasha, and he missed her presence for a moment... but then she was stripping off her gloves and hitching up her dress, pulling the garment over her head. Sasha’s gaze raked over what seemed like miles of dark, gorgeous skin, skin he longed to touch, to taste...

“You get naked too, darling,” Milla said, using telekinesis to unbuckle her bra. Unlike her lacy date underwear from last time, this was patterned with bright, colorful flowers. “Let me see you.”

Sasha needed no second bidding. For once, he didn’t care about folding his clothes neatly, merely tossing his gloves aside to land somewhere on the floor. His jacket was harder to remove while lying on his back, and Milla would clearly have the same problem with her tights and go-go boots. Reluctantly they separated, Milla floating upwards just enough to finish stripping while Sasha bared his own skin.

It felt strange to be naked in the jet, the niggling idea that something could happen... and if it did, he didn’t want to be caught without his pants. As a compromise, he pushed his own trousers and plain boxers down to his knees, keeping his shoes and socks on. It may not have looked terribly sexy, but Milla’s mind just sent him a note of amusement. She started to float down again, when Sasha stopped her.

“Wait, I just need to-“ he telekinetically grabbedhis sweater, bringing it up to slide under his bare ass. “For hygiene.”

“Such a neat freak,” Milla laughed. “All except your lab.”

“I have a system!” Sasha protested, even as Milla settled down astride him again. God, he could feel her wet, hairy pussy pressed against the skin of his waist... if she moved back a few inches he’d be able to sink inside her. “Everything’s where I- _Scheiße_!”

“What’s wrong?” Milla asked. He could feel her concern radiating through his mind.

“I don’t have a condom!” Sasha growled in frustration. He was so _ready_ , and he could feel that Milla was too. He wanted her so badly, and now... so much for being spontaneous.

“Oh darling,” Milla leaned down to kiss him. He could feel her nipples against his bare chest, so hard and hot. “I’ve been on the pill for _years_.”

“Then why- last time-“ Sasha spluttered.

“I thought it would make you more comfortable,” Milla admitted. Apparently, even back then she was pandering to his control issues.

But this time wasn’t about control, it was about going with the flow. He remembered last time, when Milla had gently guided him though foreplay... carefully pulling up those memories without focusing into what had happened after.

“M-May I-“ Sasha asked, hands hovering awkwardly a few inches from her breasts.

“Touch me as much as you want, darling,” Milla purred, pressing her hips down against his. Her buttocks cradled his erection, warm and soft. 

Her breasts were also warm and soft, small and delicate and so, _so_ perfect. Sasha touched them gently, reverently, playing with the nipples. Milla moaned, sending waves of pleasure through his mind. He leaned up to kiss one dark brown nub, making her gasp.

Milla nudged him with her mind, guiding him where to touch, how hard. She reached down with her own hand, presumably playing with her clit because his mind was suddenly awash in colorful bursts of pleasure.

“ _Camilla..._ ” he whispered, nuzzling into her long, slender throat.

“Sasha...” she murmured back, bracing her hands on either side of his head. “I’m ready for you, darling.”

“Are you sure? I mean-“ Sasha hadn’t so much as fingered her. He had done his research, knew about vaginal muscles and tightness. No matter how many previous partners she’d had, they had been dating for months... she couldn’t have been penetrated during that time, right? Wouldn’t it be really tight, maybe even painful?

His uncertainty must have floated through their mental connection, because Milla responded with a memory, one so vivid and carnal it took his breath away. Milla, spread out naked on her bed, working herself with a dildo like her life depended on it... and moaning his name.

Sasha gulped. He hadn’t thought it was possible to be any more aroused, but he was clearly mistaken. Quickly he shot back a memory of his own, sitting at his desk with a photo of Milla and his cock in hand. The picture had been part of his “exposure therapy”, but he suspected his partner had just wanted to give him a picture of herself posing in lacy pink lingerie.

But no picture could compare with the real thing. The smell of her, the taste, the smooth, warm feel of her skin... it was more intoxicating than wine.

“Oh _Sasha_...” she moaned, eyes wide at the vision he’d sent her. “In your lab? You really _do_ have a naughty side...”

“You bring it out of me,” he admitted, cupping her hips in shaking hands. If he didn’t get inside her soon, he was going to explode. “ _Please_ , Milla...”

He didn’t need to ask twice. She rose to her knees, and he could feel her telekinetic touch on his cock, guiding him inside her.

The sensation was incredible. Tight, wet heat, so much better than his hand had ever been... better than anything he’d felt before. He groaned, low and long, a counterpoint to Milla’s high gasp of pleasure. Their minds tangled together even more tightly, so much that Sasha could feel what Milla felt, the sensation of his own cock inside her, the continuing touches on her clit... and from the feedback he was getting Milla could feel him too.

“ _Sasha_...” she moaned, her pussy clenching around him. “I’ve wanted this for so _long_ , darling...”

“Me too,” Sasha admitted. It was everything he’d imagined and so much more. He needed to move, and he knew without having to ask that Milla was ready for it.

Sasha braced his feet against the padded bench beneath him, getting a firmer grip on those wide, curvy hips. He thrust his own hips upward, sinking in deep enough to make them both moan again.

“That’s it, darling,” Milla said, closing her eyes and raising her hips a little, giving him more play. Sasha took advantage of the extra room, thrusting up into her again and again. Logic gave way to pure, primal instinct, his body knowing what to do even as his mind was lost in sensation and the swirling caress of his lover’s thoughts.

“Milla, _Milla,_ ” Sasha groaned, his hips moving faster without his conscious control. His mouth got away from him too, slipping back into his native German.“ _Gott! Ich- Ich liebe-_ “

“Oh, _querido_ ,” Milla moaned back, and Sasha felt the meaning, the deep and abiding love through their link. “ _Te amo, te amo, querido!_ ”

Words of love and swears filled the cabin, mingled English, German and Portuguese, along with panting and the slick sounds of their coupling. Their minds were so tightly entwined that Sasha wasn’t sure where one ended and the other began... he didn’t care, he didn’t _care_ , he just needed more. More of Milla, more of everything. He could feel both of them nearing completion, rushing towards the edge-

The jet jolted, shaking with a sudden patch of turbulence. The tremor made Milla sit down hard on Sasha’s cock, even as it threw him upwards just a little bit. The shock, the sudden, deep penetration- it was all too much.

Surprise mixed with bliss as they both hit their peak, the orgasm flashing through them both like hot, bright lightning. Muscles tensed and shook as they cried out, slick heat filling Milla and spilling down Sasha’s cock. 

It took them long moments to come back to reality. Milla lay on Sasha’s chest, panting as hard as he was, a blissful smile on her lips.

“Did the world move for you too?” She asked, with a hint of a giggle.

“The plane certainly did,” Sasha admitted, straightening his glasses. They’d been knocked askew at some point, either by the sex or the turbulence. “Are you alright?”

“Much better than that, darling...” Milla said, kissing his cheek. Rosy swirls of pleasure floated through their connection, lending credence to her words. “You did wonderfully.”

“Well...” Sasha blushed, “I had a good teacher.”

“It’s easy to work with natural talent,” Milla replied, stroking fingers through his hair. “Soon you’ll be ready for advanced lessons!”

Sasha chuckled a little. He’d expected things to change, somehow, after their first time... but they didn’t. Their banter was still playful and flirtatious, her eyes still shining with familiar affection. The only difference was that she was his lover now, as well as his partner, girlfriend and dearest love.

He wanted to fall asleep in her arms, but someone had to stay awake in case something happened. Milla’s eyelids were fluttering, and he could feel a sleepy calm in her thoughts. For once, he could be the one to take care of her.

“Sleep tight, Milla,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair. She snuggled into his chest, breathing deeply as he held her close.

It would be hours before the jet was back at HQ, but Sasha never wanted them to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I believe that planning sex (especially a first time) leads to better results... but this seemed like the right call for Sasha. He needs to loosen up.
> 
> And speaking of loosening up, I’m being self-indulgent here by having Sasha be more knowledgeable about female anatomy that almost every man (and most women) I’ve ever met. Lots of myths out there :(
> 
> Translations:  
> • Scheiße = Shit  
> • Gott! Ich libe- = God! I love-  
> • Te amo, querido = I love you, darling
> 
> As always, comments and kudos feed my brain!

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how IC the characters are... most of the game we only see how they interact in front of Raz, so this is what I’ve got.


End file.
